Saturday, July 21, 2012

Who Are You?


“Who are you?”

The long sequence of long and shorts vibrated in my ear; that standard answer to the question I had asked a hundred times.  It’s designation and a question in return, Why do you want to know?

“Because I’m the curious type,” I said in a whisper. 

I got enough looks for just having it on; I didn’t need anymore for talking to it.  My fellow Tram riders tried to ignore me, but their sideways glances from time to time were not lost on me.  It replied after a half-second, longer than usual.  Didn’t curiosity kill the cat?

I smiled; it and I had been together for too long, we were like old women during the downtimes.  It spoke again in the archaic language reserved for die-hard amateur radio operators, conspiracy theorists, and Conductors.  We are nine minutes from our destination.

I could now translate Morse Code at a rate of fifty words per minute; blazing fast speeds compared to when I was first recruited.  My mind no longer built the words a letter at a time, rather our conversation became like any other language you might pick up – like Spanish or Creole.

“Review target.”

Target is male, 43 years old, 5 foot 6 inches, occupation writer.  Last know address is 4508 Pleasance Ave, Apt. 5.  Walks with a limp, balding with blonde hair, and a scar on his left cheek.  Non-violent?

“You don’t sound sure,” I whispered with a grin.

The data is inconclusive.  No previous record of violence.  All of which means little when it describes humans.

“How specieist of you.”  I must have said it too loud, because the purple hairs across from me looked at me with disgust.

The data does not lie.

“True enough,” I said quietly this time.  It shifted a little to connect with my wrist computer.  Getting use to the Morse Code was easy compared to getting use to the slimy tendrils It moved and attached to different parts of my body.  It, was biological construct ACv-5b-I7, a data analyzation unit used exclusively by Federal Agents to record, analyze, and comput information agents used in the field.  The official nickname was “Parrot”, but the more common unofficial name was “Inky”.  My “Inky” I had never given a name to, simply had referred to it as It.  I had tried to not get too attached (pun intended) but It had grown on me (pun intended again).

Five minutes from target.

It had always bothered me.  The comps that I had learned Code from had all typed in the same way – very structured, very concise, very predictable.  It didn’t “speak” the same way as them; It had it own voice, its own pattern of speaking.  So whenever I had a free moment I would ask, “Who are you?”

I honestly wondered.  The biological constructs were still too new to be fully understood and their existence had driven religious leaders the world over into hissy fits.  There was even a group that wanted the Inky’s freed and allowed to live in the wild – frolicking and creeping through the tulips I guess.

The target was potentially one of them, or at least knew who had killed Agent Marlow and stolen his Inky.  The tram disgorged its riders onto the station platform and then mindlessly continued on its way.  I took the stairs down to street level, took a moment to get my bearing, and then started east down Pleasance Ave.  The streets weren’t full, but there was a steady stream of workers filtering their way back toward the Tram station and home.  A woman in a brown coat and red dress bumped into me at some speeds, nearly knocking us both over.  She kept her balanced, offered her forgiveness, and then ran off.

I checked my pockets and my holster, just in case.

Content that I was still in possession of all my possessions, I continued on.

Three minutes.

I could see 4508 written across the doorway of the brownstone; three minutes seemed a little much, “And if I take the back door?”

Nine minutes.

“Nine?”

You’re out of shape.

“Silent mode.”  It’s tendril in my ear slinked down my neck and under my collar.  I huffed my way up to the third floor, a small bead of sweat on my forehead.  Apartment 5 was the entirety of the floor it seemed; there were no doors in the hallway save for one at the very end emblazoned with the number 5.  That was… odd.

I knocked on the door, the raps echoing down the hall.  I waited thirty seconds and then knocked again, harder.  The door swung open on my last pound.

“Corbin Ouillet?  I’m a Federal Agent, the door is open and I am coming in.”

It’s tendril was quickly back in my ear… Windows.

The single word was as immediately translated as the individual dits and dahs from the code were in my mind – there were no windows in the room.  The door had swung out into a large great room the remaining length of the building.  The wall beyond once had three bay windows, now bricked over.  Florescent lighting took over where natural lighting was denied, casting the whole room in a pale green light.

I stepped over the threshold.  The room was spartan even by spartan standards; a decorist would have probably called it Cantonese.  A single end table and chair swam alone in the emptiness of the room.  The next room of the apartment was down an open doorway and dark hallway.

I called the man’s name again, still no answer.  Cautiously down the hall I went until I reached a second great room.  The lights came on as soon as I entered and there was my target.  The room was just as spartan as the last, only a few extra amenities like a bed, a sink, a toilet, and a writing desk were additions.  Ouillet was sitting in his chair, back to me.

No.

I stepped closer.

No. No.

I ignored It and reached out to shake the man.  As I made contact It sent jolt into my ear that knocked me down.  In all our years together It had never hindered or harmed me.  The jolt stopped and I could move again.

“What the hell was that?”

No!

“Who are you,” came a whisper from the man in the chair.  From my perch on the floor, thanks to my “partner”, I could see the front of the man.  He was a man in his 40’s, balding blond, and scarred on his left cheek; Ouillet sure enough.  The inky black goo seeping from his eyes, ears, nose, and mouth on the other hand…

“Who are you,” the man whispered to no one, neither seeing nor hearing me.

ACv-3b-07.  Agent Marlow’s construct.

Monday, May 21, 2012

The final Game Off Article...


                Alright, since I failed to whelm you into submission with my last Movie that deserves a Game tie-in, I’m bringing out the big guns.  I’m here to game and chew bubble gum and I just ran out of bubble gum.
                To begin… Pride and Prejudice was written by Jane Austen in 1813 and tells the story of Elizabeth Be… Oh you don’t care!  Suffice to say it’s long, British - and by British I don’t mean Benny Hill or Monty Python - and your mom likes it.  Since neither of you can read, I suggest you watch the BBC version with Colin Firth, who’s more of a man than anyone of us will ever be.  The vision that is Colin Firth will help set the stage for a little game I like to call…
Mr. Darcy
                The goal of the game of Mr. Darcy is to remain aloof from Elizabeth Bennet by playing cards like, “Turn down Elizabeth’s invitation to dance” or “Open the door as if you did it for Elizabeth but then walk through it yourself” and other things that proper Victorian Gentlemen would do.  With each aloof act you will be wooing Elizabeth away from you and into the arms of another player who is also trying to hide their affections for the lovely Ms. Bennet.  With each successful rebuff you earn Victorian Points (get it?  Victorian Points?  Because its… You don’t get it).  Once all the Victorian Points are collected by the potential suitors the two unique Pride and Prejudice cards selected at the beginning of the game are turned over.  If two of your Victorian Points match you win!  If you have only one matching Victorian Point, than the most aloof bachelor wins… because all women love distant men.  Total play time should be somewhere between six to eight hours.
                The atmosphere around the table should be cordial and polite, but biting remarks should be used whenever a play is made against you.  Such remarks should be without vulgarity; rather they should deride the other player’s character or point out a social failing.  Most games should end prematurely with duels.
                And in one fell swoop I just made a game for not just a movie but also a book.  DOUBLE BAM!  Once you’ve picked yourself off of the floor, changed your shorts, and called your mommy I expect your surrender email, post haste.
-Game Off

Please leave a comment if you would like me to write more!

Saturday, May 19, 2012


My second Game Off article, I didn't come up with any game mechanics because I was just going to use Battlestar Galactic and just photoshop the cover. 

               I’m disappointed in the two of you… either you are too foolish to realize you have been bested or you’re gluttons for punishment.  If it’s the latter then prepare to get your fill from a Movie that deserves a Game tie-in called…
FANTASTIC VOYAGE!
FANTASTIC VOYAGE IS A MULTIPLAYER COOP GAME WHERE YOU AND YOUR FELLOW ADVENTURER SCIENTISTS, MINITURIZED TO THE SIZE OF A CELL, RACE THROUGH THE HUMAN BODY TO SAVE THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!  RACING AGAINST THE CLOCK AND THE DEFENCES OF THE BODY’S OWN NATURAL DEFENSES YOU’LL DISCOVER WONDERS NEVER SEEN BEFORE BY MAN!  HOWEVER, NOT EVERY ONE OF YOUR INTRIPID BAND SEEKS THE PRESIDENT’S WELL-BEING – A SOVIET SPY IS LURKING AMONST THE CREW WHO WILL STOP AT NOTHING TO SEE THE MISSION FAIL!
SUSPICION, DECEPTION, SUSPENSE… FANTASTIC VOYAGE!

It’s so good it had to be in bold script. The only thing left for me to do now is sit back in my chair, cigar in my hand, and say, “DANG!  I’m good.”  So, I’ll go do that then…

- Game Off

Friday, May 18, 2012

I wrote this for a Game Website some friends and I were going to make... we didn't, but at least I wrote some funny stuff. 

Alright guys, I’m kicking the door down, spry’n and pray’n right off the bat. You shouldn’t even bother trying to one up me because this movie tie-in game will knock your socks off and darned you new ones.

The movie is Red Dawn; and not the new mamby-pamby remake their coming out with, but the original Patrick Swayze masterpiece. If you haven’t seen Red Dawn or don’t remember what its about here’s a link (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_Dawn) but the long and the short of its is that Red Commies have invaded the heartland of the God-blessed US of A. Our only hope is a ragtag group of highschoolers, armed to the teeth with good old American boomsticks.

To pay homage to such a deserving movie you personally going to need a few things – like two to three friends. To really sell the whole thing two guys need to dress up like our 1980’s heroes, so wear things like faded and torn jeans, a jeans jacket, red head band, and a mullet. Once you’ve dressed the part of a freedom loving Wolverines! you’ll be ready to take back America from the Commies. But what about friend number three you ask, well at least Danny asks because he can count. Well he gets to dress up in olive drab, combat boots, grow a daunting beard, and gets stogie to comp on. Comrade Commie is now ready to stamp out the last vestiges of Democracy.

Now for the game itself, you’ll need a map which you’ll divide into fifteen to twenty sectors in Commie Red (Shaun can use his crayons). On the sides you need to mark off ten boxes, marked 1-5 which will denote a specific hideout for our heroes. Each God-fearing American gets five boxes, marked 1-5, and then a book or something to hide them from the prying eyes of that Commie SOB. For the two Wolverines! players they each get five markers for their freedom fighters; these should be colors like Blue for blue-blooded American or White because it’s not Red. Risk markers work for this. They also each get five markers that indicate weapons. Commie boy get fifty red markers for his troops, he’s to put one on each sector of the map and keep the rest off in reserve, and enough weapons markers to fill each sector of the map plus some extra to spread around. At the top of the board you need a board with ten markers and an American Flag – this represents the forces of freedom, taking the country back one Red corpse at time.

The Wolverines! players roll to see who goes first. Whoever wins get to attack a sector of the map, placing as many weapons markers as they want to use (up to the number of Freedom Fighters they have) in the sector. Ivan Ivanovich rolls a defensive die for each his soldiers in the sector and the Wolverines! rolls an attack die for each weapon used. Whomever has the big number (again have Danny count it or let Shaun use an abacus) wins. If the Wolverines! wins they get to take whatever weapons are in the sector and the Commie soldier dies like the pig-dog that he is. If the Socialist Scumbag wins the weapons used in the attack are taken off the board. The Wolverine! places his freedom fighters or weapons in the hideouts. Wolverines! number two gets to attack and do the same thing.

Now it’s Kremlin Karl’s turn. He gets to put soldiers back onto the board if he wants, but then he gets to attack the hideouts. Placing soldiers on one of the hideout squares for each of the Wolverines! players, two for each player (that makes 4!). If he’s placed soldiers on a square that matches the number of where a Wolverines! has placed weapons or Freedom Fighters then a single weapon or Freedom Fighter is lost. If there is nothing there the American flag at the top of the board moves one spot closer to liberation.

Play ends with the either the unlikely elimination of all the Wolverines! freedom fighters or the cowardly forces of Stalin retreating from the armies of Lady Liberty.

BAM! And that’s how you create a homage to one of Hollywood’s greats.

-Game Off

Monday, October 24, 2011

I'll End You Kitty

I’ll End You Kitty
Inspired by Casey Bainter


I’ll end you kitty if it’s the last thing I do
I should have gotten a dog, loyal and true
I’m sick of your meows and scratch, scratching
Your indifferent eyes and your hours of napping
I’ve tried to be gentle, to be humane
But no matter where I leave you – you’re back the next day

So, I’ll treat you to a treat with a high poison quotient
With Mr. Yuck on the bottles, I pour them and mix them
I think to myself, “Yeah, this will fix him!”
I get down close to watch your demise
But you flip the bowl over into my eyes

When the burning stops and I can see
Ending that kitty is a strong felt need
A dual, forty paces, that is the way
Shooting and missing, this was a mistake
You fire more truly and blow me away

Back from the hospital, a new plan in motion
I’ll end you kitty with a bash to split you open
Hammer in head, I swing for the fences
Your head soon will be only a few traces
But alas I miss and hit myself in the man places

I’ll end you kitty if it’s the last thing I do
I sit and ponder on which tools to use
A chainsaw or jackhammer
Perhaps fire! Yes, Fire!
Up goes my home in a pillar of flames
And out walks the kitty, unamused by my games

Oh, I’ll end you kitty
As soon as I’m free
From this tight jacket and white walls around me
Oh, I’ll end you kitty, I write on the walls
And curse your name down the Psych Ward halls.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Chapter 1 - The Wedding

This is an excerpt from Project Volume One. Let me know if you like it.

It was now at the crest of Spring and the whole village of Low Stream was bright with color, as wedding streamers danced from bow to bow all along the rows of homes. Bells hung from every conceivable surface of the ‘Glittering Cave’ and jingled in the light breeze. The square was covered in a massive pavilion tent and the whole town was gathered underneath.
Standing before everyone was Silva Kiln, dressed in a finely laced dress of brown and green, she stood atop a intricately carved wood platform that would become part of the bride and groom’s home in some way. Below her stood her daughter, Lira, who in a dress of white and red was the consummate bride. She was shapely figured and christened with the brightest red hair any could remember seeing. Her bridegroom was short and stocky, also dressed in white and red, but his clothes lacked the finery that Silva and Lira’s possessed. Hand-me-downs from his father were the whispered rumors.
“Daughter, take his hands; they are rough and hard from working the land to prepare a place for you. Son, take her hands; they are soft and smooth and thus a balm to you after your tireless work. As the mountains are bound to the lowlands by the streams and rivers, so too are you bound to each other by your hands.” Silva intoned the ancient wedding rites with a regal bearing. Elsewhere in the back of the throng stood two young men dressed in threadbare suits of green and white anxiously watching the proceedings.
That could have been you, signed one to the other.
I’m trying to watch, signed the other one back with a angry look in his eyes. A few turned to look at the two conversing with their hands, but as only two knew the language and they were the sons of the ‘Mad-hatter’ the onlookers decided to ignore them and turn back to watch Lira kiss both of the bridegroom’s cheeks before leading him around the platform.
Avin Ores was half a head taller than most men, still shorter than his father and not as wide. He instead was thin and willowy like his mother. His brother, Liam Ores, was shorter but just as thin. To look at them one would not be wrong in thinking they were brothers, but Liam was not Tovin and Light’s natural born child. Twenty years before Tovin had gone out on one of his wanderings and returned with a child. He said, he had stumbled upon an ambushed caravan making its way over the Siltz Pass with Liam being the only survivor. Light immediately took to the child, so Tovin and Light chose raise the strange little boy as their own. After a time though they discovered that the strange boy’s tongue was more than capable of working but he had never spoke or uttered a sound that anyone could remember. Avin had asked his mother once why this was.
“Because he has suffered a great loss, our little Liam has lost his voice. And before you ask, no I don’t think he’ll ever get it back.” She put Avin down off her knee and pushed him toward the toddler. Unable to talk the two developed a language all their own with their hands doing the talking. It evolved from simple thoughts to more complex ideas and words over time as the two became inseparable. Their bound grew even greater after the death of their mother when they were still young, as their father went deeper into his madness and the two had to learn to care for themselves.
Still, don’t you wonder what it might be like, asked Liam, pointing to the ceremony now at its apex. Silva had stepped down from the platform and the bridegroom was lifting Lira up onto it before stepping up onto it himself.
No, I don’t wonder, Avin replied curtly, adding a final hack to his gestures to show he was done talking. Liam turned back to watch, but he stole sideway glances to watch his brother’s reaction. Out of the corner of Liam’s eye he saw Mitus Firn sidestepping up to Avin’s side. Mitus hadn’t even tried to dress up for the wedding, being only a herdsman for the penniless Turn Farm didn’t provide much reason to own fine clothing, but it at least smelled as if he had bathed beforehand. Mitus, while in a different profession, was actually quite close to the Ores brothers who would often stop to talk to him before setting off into the woods near the Turn’s fields for a hunt.
“That could be you, you know,” Mitus said in a low voice. Avin rolled his eyes and coughed to clear his throat, a sign well known in the east to mean drop the subject. “In all my dreams I never thought I would see, let even know, a bachelor. I tell you what. If I had the chance to marry Lira I would have jumped at it faster than Emperor Vidian took to water .”
Avin starred Mitus down, but instead of quieting he continued getting louder. “That Lira is a fine woman, nothing like her mother either. I’d almost think she was found like you, Liam.” Mitus motioned to Liam. “No, that Lira is a real princess… a fine woman to marry. Why did you turn her down?”
A small crowd was now turned and listening to the conversation. Avin’s face grew red and his breathing grew deep.
“That was my decision, now wasn’t it Mitus? And I’d appreciate some quiet so I can watch in peace.” Avin kept his temper in check, but Liam could see it boiling just below the surface, it only needed a final push and Mitus seemed intent on being the one to do it.
“Sure, sure, Avin, but Lira? She’s had nothing but eyes for you…” Mitus was now talking quite loudly and everyone in the back of the proceedings had turned to watch or glare their disproval. Silva had also noticed and sent a killing look back at Avin.
Avin spun on his heels and walked off without a word. Mitus watched him leave and then looked to Liam for an answer; he only shrugged and then turned to follow his brother.
Silva began her final comments, a chance for her to intone a piece of great wisdom to the newlyweds.
“In these uncertain times, where brother no longer see eye to eye with brother, where the weak are oppressed, and the Magas rules no better than an Orc Chieftain it is to men such as my new son that we must look. Vance Badg has already presented his papers to the Free Provincial Army’s recruiters and agreed to forgo his honeymoon to immediately enlist to fight against the Emperor and his evils.” Vance Badg, the bridegroom, standing atop the platform looked awkward from Silva drawing so much attention to him. He was a simple farmer from Gwest, a village not far to the south, who had hazarded flood waters to save another’s family and thus won the right to marry . Everyone liked Vance, there wasn’t much not to like, but he was easily swayed and no one held any doubts that Silva had made enlisting part of his marriage agreement.
“Unlike so many, Vance has proved his manhood. Who here can say as much as our brothers arm themselves to defend our freedoms?” The crowd looked away from her piercing gaze. “I thought as much. Vance, it is with all the joy in my heart that I give you my daughter in marriage.”
Thus ended the wedding and began the celebration. While the ceremony may have been difficult for some the free flowing taps from the ‘Glittering Cave’ made it a pleasurable experience to recall later in life. Jovin, who as Bürger had many duties before and after a wedding, looked for his nephews amongst the crowds; however neither Avin nor Liam returned for the festivities.
They instead dressed out of their suits, putting them back in the window seat for storage, and dressed in their hunting gear. Taking their musket rifles, powder horns, lead, a day’s supply of rations, and Liam’s bow and quiver of arrows they stepped out and quickly skulked out into the woods.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Enora

The October submission for Digital Quills:

There amongst the waves calling for me
Is young Enora walking the sea
I am frozen and fearful at the terrible sight
Her clothes are but tatters, her skin like moonlight
Her eyes burn with fire as bright as the stars
Her smile sweetly sinister, her hands deformed by the scars
Despite all this terror her beauty remains
I still feel a lust like on the 20th of May
On the deck of the Lola I kissed her in vain
Her love for another would be my great bane
Twas the 20th she spurned me far out to sea
She pushed and she struggled, she called out and screamed
So I bound her and gagged her, tossed her into the sea
Down to the bottom, went under did she
Now on rough nights when the sea battles and roars
Sweet young Enora wonders the shores
She hopes to find me, to share her great horror
To drag me to the deep, her ever-loving adorer