Alright,
since I failed to whelm you into submission with my last Movie that deserves a Game tie-in, I’m bringing out the big
guns. I’m here to game and chew bubble
gum and I just ran out of bubble gum.
To
begin… Pride and Prejudice was written by Jane Austen in 1813 and tells the
story of Elizabeth Be… Oh you don’t care!
Suffice to say it’s long, British - and by British I don’t mean Benny
Hill or Monty Python - and your mom likes it.
Since neither of you can read, I suggest you watch the BBC version with
Colin Firth, who’s more of a man than anyone of us will ever be. The vision that is Colin Firth will help set
the stage for a little game I like to call…
Mr. Darcy
The
goal of the game of Mr. Darcy is to remain aloof from Elizabeth Bennet by
playing cards like, “Turn down Elizabeth’s invitation to dance” or “Open the
door as if you did it for Elizabeth but then walk through it yourself” and
other things that proper Victorian Gentlemen would do. With each aloof act you will be wooing
Elizabeth away from you and into the arms of another player who is also trying
to hide their affections for the lovely Ms. Bennet. With each successful rebuff you earn
Victorian Points (get it? Victorian
Points? Because its… You don’t get
it). Once all the Victorian Points are
collected by the potential suitors the two unique Pride and Prejudice cards
selected at the beginning of the game are turned over. If two of your Victorian Points match you
win! If you have only one matching
Victorian Point, than the most aloof bachelor wins… because all women love
distant men. Total play time should be
somewhere between six to eight hours.
The
atmosphere around the table should be cordial and polite, but biting remarks
should be used whenever a play is made against you. Such remarks should be without vulgarity;
rather they should deride the other player’s character or point out a social
failing. Most games should end
prematurely with duels.
And in
one fell swoop I just made a game for not just a movie but also a book. DOUBLE BAM!
Once you’ve picked yourself off of the floor, changed your shorts, and
called your mommy I expect your surrender email, post haste.
-Game Off
Please leave a comment if you would like me to write more!
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